An Open Letter to God.

Dear God,

Today, I reflected on why I write, and many things came up. I believe that You set this gift in my heart, which makes it the most important reason. Then, there is the fact that as a child, I felt silenced. Coming up in a traditional black household, children were to be seen and not heard. This forced me to rely on pen and paper to speak freely. One may be able to silence my voice, but if my hand still moves, am I truly silenced?

I write because I love to tell stories. My grandmother opened my mind to the world of reading, and I was hooked from there. I loved how I could open a book and go on a journey without leaving my bedroom. It was an escape. The characters I met were my friends. I wanted to create that type of escape for others.

When life became too heavy, I began writing more for myself again. It was my release from my burdens, unspoken secrets, my way of crawling out of the hole I fell in... This was something more than just a return to my roots. I found myself writing with a sense of urgency because, at that point, it felt like the only thing I had left. I was writing to survive.

Today, I still write for myself. It's my way of communicating when I cannot speak the words aloud. It's still my release when the days feel heavy and I need to relieve some of the pressure. I also believe I write because I am afraid to die without leaving something behind that says, "I was here." I don't necessarily want to be famous or known, but it's more for my family. I want to be more than just a memory.

I want to be more than just a story, a recollection of a really good day. I want to be more than just a scent that will slowly fade out of old bed sheets and sweaters.

I want to be more.

At least when I write, I can leave my essence on the page. My loved ones will always be able to find me dancing between the lines, every page cradled with gentle hands and caressed by fingertips, my fingertips. I just hope they will love me enough to hold onto every word written with them in mind.