Welcome to My Safe Space
When I was younger, I clung to writing because I felt silenced. In my family, children were to be seen and not heard. Children didn't have feelings or opinions and did what they were told. The page was the only place where I could truly be myself.
On the page, I could fly because I said I could, and I did.
The page was the place where I could dream of something bigger than myself. I dreamed about sharing my words with others, inviting them into the worlds I'd create. My writing would be their escape. I mean, it was already mine. Why couldn't I help people feel the same way?
Then, that suddenly ended.
I think I flew too close to the sun because suddenly, my wings were gone, and my thoughts didn't feel safe anymore. So, the page didn't feel safe, and that scared me the most. I used to tell people that I was called to this Earth to be a writer.
If I'm being honest with myself, sometimes I still feel that way, and I don't think anything is wrong with feeling that. In my experience, I have found that I should acknowledge the thoughts that scare me. When I don't do so, it gives that negative thought room to grow, to latch on to any positive thought, and corrupts it.
My therapist taught me to combat those thoughts with logical arguments. So, after you let that negative thought speak its mind, you offer a rebuttal - three reasons why that thought is wrong. For example, I know I have something to offer to the world because:
I love helping people in any capacity that I can.
People say that I have a kind and welcoming smile
For this one, I could only think of two, but that's okay as long as we are brave enough to try. We have to be brave enough to look at the scary thoughts in the face, and tell them they aren't real. They have no power. I hope we can be brave enough to do that here.
Here, we are safe.
